Coming soon to a PC near you. Sick bags not provided, sadly
You would think after 17 years we'd have run out of knob gags, but no
Yet another new feature in the Fall Creators' Update
25 per cent of users will notice borkage within two years
Everyone is happy again, for now.
Monster bunch of fixes take aim at Adobe Acrobat and Flash
Hacking tool targets PCs running Windows
Look into the eyes, don't look around the eyes, look into the eyes
Meanwhile the wibbly wobbly screen saga continues
Seriously. And yet we've spun it out to 500 words
Such excite! Very Open Source!
There's gold in them there ills
But it's like, sooooo boring
Firm sets sights on Microsoft with 24in and 27in PCs
Was it all a big publicity stunt?
Firm trumps expectations with revenues of £17.9bn
But Creators Update? Nooooo
Communication tool may end up being useful again at some point
Firm soothes 19 critical bug fixes in latest Patch Tuesday release
8.1? 8.dead more like
Just don't poo in the sandbox
Dunno why we ever thought it was. We are fools. Apparently
It may be for our own good but that doesn't make it right
While Windows 7 dips just slightly
But it seems to be not as bad as first though
Less Surface, more laptop
Malware suite likened to Stuxnet worm
As usual, there's a very good reason
Firm also throws Nokia S40 and Windows Phone users a lifeline
Windows 10 S laptop can't be upgraded and has a limited lifespan
Microsoft is aligning its policies for Windows Server updates too
University taught a security lesson
Redmond warns of state-sponsored exploit threat
But, er, doesn't have much to say
The second Creators Update is beginning to take shape
Israeli firm software reduces security threat response times 'by 95 per cent'
Redmond claims it's confident that OS complies with competition laws
But what did his mum catch him doing? And what party does he work for?
Windows 10 2-in-1 gives the Microsoft Surface Laptop a run for its money
Last weeks accidental update hid a payload of future shocks. Maybe
This is your instant messenger on drugs....
Winchester, pint, blow over etc
Things happen on a graph and we write words about them happening
String up the bunting! Light the beacons!
First devices based on the Snapdragon 835 Mobile PC Platform will launch in Q4
But we have a feeling Redmond won't take it on the chin
Everyone's a critic, of course