Boffin takes breather as balance sheet wobbles
AI make its alls betterer
Pity they don't come in a Heart Shaped Box
It can tell which digit you're holding up
And then probably offer to sell you some new trousers
Who'd have thunked' it
Redmond comes across all mea culpa but won't follow the example of other tech pals
It's all good stuff...unless Siri leans how to mouth-off
It was all to help AI tech be better....honest guv
GLAS thermostat loses the thing that made it a thing
Investment could lead to better early cancer detection
'You cannot be Siri-ous', said Apple. Maybe
More like, er, Spype
But there's no indication that the programme itself will change
All thanks to the power of AI tech, of course
You cannot be Sirious
Mo code, less typing
Claims that it hasn't ever actually worked
Can't read its p-p-poker face
'I can't let you play that, Dave'
Alexa... am I dying?
There's a small part of your brain in a server farm somewhere
Filthy rich mans catflap
But firm claims it has no ties with PLA-affiliated institutions
Nobody wants to be banned from EasyJet over that hideous outfit they wore
It's not her fault you only came second in that beauty contest
It'll the help French sniff out more gas and oil
And it'll even undo the damage
Suits claim firm 'routinely voiceprints millions of children' without consent
'Alexa, I'm lonely'
AI is so on trend right now
Talk about 'echo chamber'
Meet the new queen of the drone age
Air-freshener-alike gadget unlikely to show up until August
Big Blue is watching you....kinda
AI will better understand when you order a big pillow not a dil...
So that's why she's smiling…
Artificial artificial intelligence
We definitely want to see the lettuce fries reinstated*
Taking its eye off the Ballmer
Such a step could lead to smarter tech for us plebs
Your chat may be recorded for machine training purposes
Hey Cortana - what is the point of you exactly?