BIT-PART ACTOR Donald Trump, best known for his career-defining performance as ‘Donald Trump' in ‘Donald J Trump: The Ultimate Merger' has decided to delay plans for a ten per cent levy on certain Chinese goods.
Products due to be levied on the 1st September including mobiles, lappies, consoles, monitors will now be spared until 15th December, with the government explaining it was down to "health, safety, national security and other factors".
Trump, snubbed for an Oscar for so many of his roles, told reporters that it was to stop the American public from being stung in the wallet during the festive season, suggesting he has a desire to make his next role The Gimp That Saved Christmas.
Trump slapped the levies on $300bn of Chinese made goods in the latest tit-for-tat of the US Trade War, claiming that China had reneged on a promise to use more American agriculture.
However, it's understood that the delay came within minutes of a conversation between the Chinese and American trade departments, suggesting that one or both parties have recognised the potential for the tit-for-tat trade war to turn into a recession for both countries.
It's unlikely, however, that this is more than a tactical reprieve, as the Trump White House continues to dig in over "America First" and its allegations against Chinese tech firms including Huawei and ZTE being a risk to national security.
Both Huawei and ZTE were officially banned from US Government departments last week, and whilst neither company is officially banned from the wider US, they are subject to restrictions in dealing with US companies, making it almost impossible to actually get their products to market.
Full details of what is and isn't included in this latest round, including which bits will be delayed until December is due to be announced later today. μ
Much a (dil)do about nothing
Neither the time nor the face
The tiny tweaks are coming thick and fast now
Gitting more secure