IT'S AUGUST, forever known in journalist circles as the silly season, where spurious non-stories fill the void left by the summer holidays.
Thankfully, a story of such magnitude and international importance has emerged that we'll never see August in the same way again.
This is not a drill people. There's a man dressed as a telly, leaving people old tellies in the dead of night.
When we say ‘old' tellies, we're talking big chunky cathode-ray-tube jobbies. The type that is so hopelessly outdated, it's not so much a present as a burden.
"He wants to be known as the TV Santa Claus. I don't know," said Jim Brooksbank, speaking to WTVR-TV shortly after a total of fifty - FIFTY - of the old sets were left by old Tellyhead.
Sadly, the gifts which littered the county of Henrico County, VA weren't exactly received with open arms. The man (because let's face it, a woman would have more sense) has been caught multiple times by CCTV cameras and doorbell cams, but given that he's wearing a big Kenny-from-South-Park parka and more importantly, a telly on his head, an ID is yet to arrive.
Local police are on the case, though they emphasise that the only real crime being committed is illegal dumping, a point made after they cleared the gifted tellies for disposal.
It turns out that this happened in a nearby neighbourhood last year, leading to some suggestions that its some kind of college prank or initiation chore.
"At most this seems to be more an inconvenience to the community," said an officer.
It's not known if the old sets actually worked as nobody was impressed enough to check, but since the digital switchover, any of these tellies would require a set-top box or analogue to digital convertor to be any use. μ
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