IT TURNS OUT THAT Amazon Dash Buttons can be even more useless than advertised. Amazon has announced that they'll simply stop working on 31 August, leaving you just 29 days to get toilet paper urgently delivered in the kind of quantities that will make the postman worry about your digestive health.
The Dash Button, for those unaware, was Amazon's attempt to make shopping as easy as pressing a button. While in the 10th century, getting a coffee would involve a round trip to Ethiopia, Amazon had streamlined it to the degree that you simply pressed a button labelled coffee and it would magically appear in the post. It was ideal for anybody who ever looked at the care-free life of the laboratory rat and deciding that they want a bit of that.
In theory, the Dash Button was designed for essentials that you'd need in a hurry: dishwasher tablets, cat food, toilet paper, condoms and so on. Although if you suddenly find out you urgently need condoms, a 24-hour wait for delivery is still probably 23 hours and 59 minutes too long.
Each button cost £4.99, but would give you £4.99 off your first order made with them, so they were essentially free. Oh, and some people found far better uses for them, hacking them to become smart light switches, clever timers and portable Rickrollers.
Anyway, they're soon to be dead. Amazon's explanation is that there's just no need for them now, as you can get virtual buttons in the app, or ask your Echo to place an order for you. Or, y'know, just open your laptop and visit the site like a normal person.
Amazon has been quick to inform us that this isn't the huge e-waste disaster it sounds like, and you can ship your dud Dash Buttons back to Amazon for recycling using this link. Still, we can't help thinking that those precious seconds saved buying industrial quantities of Mentos probably weren't worth the production process. µ
Much a (dil)do about nothing
Neither the time nor the face
The tiny tweaks are coming thick and fast now
Gitting more secure