FRENCH FRANCE has sent out a rallying cry for game developers who want to move to French France to escape this Brexit hell we're stuck in.
The government of the country, which has already brought us Rayman, Raving Rabbids and not to mention all those bundled Gameloft games on your phone, has launched the "Join The Game" initiative to lure British gaming devs over to the land of Serge Gainsbourg and Antoine De Caunes to join its £4.4bn industry.
"In only a few years, video games have become France's second largest cultural industry, behind books and ahead of cinema," the France French Directorate General for Enterprise, told the Guardian. "It is one of the most dynamic sectors in the French economy, with more than 5,000 direct jobs."
Developers taking the France French Euro will be offered help to relocate, as well as subsidies, tax breaks, capital loans, and, in fact, everything you need to move your base from Future Little England to the continent.
Games developed in French France will get 30 per cent tax breaks on production costs, worth up to £5.4m and funds for 'technically ambitious' projects of up to £1.8m repayable when the company is big enough to afford it.
With Brexit still stuck in limbo, whilst both potential UK prime-ministers promise what they're going to do with no real clue on how they plan to achieve it, businesses are getting antsy with the lack of foresight on what happens next. If the UK crashes out without a deal, remaining in the UK could have a significant cost on games developed here, with many companies already looking to get their HQ back inside the trade bloc.
A 2017 study found that over half of UK-based games developers employ from inside the EU and within those companies, an average of one-third of the workforce is from Europe. Those figures are likely to have shifted a lot, but with breaks like this, it could be just the beginning of the exodus of the numb-thumbs.
Watch out for the UK's first post-Brexit game release 'Sugar Crash!' in which you have to stand outside a chemist and wait for someone to emerge with the last vial of insulin so you can mug them before you lose consciousness. μ
*loose trans: 'Yo, where's my rabbits at?'
Bad for shareholders, mildly good for the planet
YouTube on the Tube
Claims that it hasn't ever actually worked