KINDLE OASIS OWNERS: your needlessly luxurious ebook reader is now worthless. Throw it in the bin, right now: it disgusts us.
Why? Because Amazon's ridiculously pricey Kindle is getting a tiny upgrade so you can transfer another couple of hundred pounds into Jeff Bezos' giant clock fund. The 2019 Kindle Oasis appears to be identical in every way, except it now has an adjustable warm light to help your poor, delicate eyes "transition from daytime to a comfortable night-time reading experience."
What, change settings yourself? Can't the help do it? Relax: the Kindle Oasis can be scheduled to adjust its warm light automatically, so the screen can be gently optimised for the time of day. 50 Shades of Grey need never give you eye strain, ever again.
You may consider it gauche to talk about money, but we should probably cover the price, just in case we retain a stake in the key demographic with more sense than money. The 2019 Kindle Oasis goes for £230 for the model with 8GB of onboard storage, or £260 if you want 32GB. If you want 32GB and free cellular data for expanding your library on the go, then you're looking at losing £320.
A quick sanity check, here: you can buy the most recent basic Kindle for £70, and while it lacks features like waterproofing and a 300ppi screen, these are both present and correct on the £120 Kindle Paperwhite. For your extra £110, the Kindle Oasis gives you a larger 7-inch screen, a sleeker aluminium build, more LEDs for backlighting and physical buttons for turning the page.
If that sounds worth it, then we'd invite you to pay us to come and read INQ articles to you in future. You see, we also care about eye strain. µ
Hackers could erect man-in-the-middle attacks
Painted into a corner
What we'd call copying, Cupertino calls 'inspiration'
That's one way to dampen today's launch