MICROSOFT HATES YOU and hates that out-of-date edition of Windows you use.
Starting this week, the company will roll out a machine-learning-powered solution to force updates to Windows 10 users who are still running Build 1803, which is now a year old.
You won't see anything, to begin with - the model has to be trained first, but that process is in full swing and after that, you're going to start seeing a lot more nagging to restart your computer.
The strategy kind of makes sense. Fragmentation has been the bane of Android and Windows alike, whilst rival Apple seems to have the whole cycle down pat, getting massive adoption each time a new build is released.
Microsoft releases two stable builds of Windows 10 each year, in spring and autumn, and is very keen that you keep up to date - almost to a fault.
But that's not the only reason. After last year's disastrous October Update (1809) which users found was absolutely riddled with problems, there has been a very slow uptake on updates, which threatens the entire Windows business model. As such, nudging stragglers forward makes sense, at least if you're Microsoft.
Microsoft says the move is to "ensure we can continue to service these devices and provide the latest updates, security updates and improvements".
The 1903 build, aka May 2019 Update, released last month has a number of new features - it includes a preview of Microsoft Edge built on Chromium and a Sandbox feature that lets you run anything you're not sure about in a protected, virtualised bubble that won't bork your system.
If you are ready to update now, you just need to go to the "Check for Updates" page and it'll find it automatically - you'll keep all your files and settings (if all goes to plan!). Otherwise, hang fire - it sounds very much like Microsoft will get you in the end. μ
Beta go give it a whirl
Your 2 Unlimited records never sounded (so) good
That's, um, £2,906 over two years
He also stands accused of taping songs off the radio and jaywalking