ET TU, CHRIS? Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has woken up to the news that the site's co-founder, Chris Hughes, is calling on him to break up their baby in an op-ed in the New York Times.
Zuckerberg will no doubt be furious that Facebook's algorithms didn't warn him this was coming by monitoring Hughes' behaviour on the site closely enough.
"Mark is still the same person I watched hug his parents as they left our dorm's common room at the beginning of our sophomore year," Hughes wrote, nostalgically.
"He is the same person who procrastinated studying for tests, fell in love with his future wife while in line for the bathroom at a party and slept on a mattress on the floor in a small apartment years after he could have afforded much more.
"In other words, he's human. But it's his very humanity that makes his unchecked power so problematic."
Adding that Zuckerberg is a "good, kind person", Hughes goes on to explain why it's time the government breaks up Facebook and reverse the acquisitions of Instagram and WhatsApp.
"[Zuckerberg] has created a leviathan that crowds out entrepreneurship and restricts consumer choice. It's on our government to ensure that we never lose the magic of the invisible hand," he wrote, referring to the economics metaphor, rather than some new feature for hiding body parts that Facebook has been working on.
Nick Clegg, the former coalition ball of sadness and current vice president of global affairs and communication for Facebook, has a somewhat different spin on things.
"Facebook accepts that with success comes accountability," he said. "But you don't enforce accountability by calling for the breakup of a successful American company."
Curiously enough, this is the same Nick Clegg who wrote this back in 2017: "I remain perplexed at the way in which US competition law only seems to care about the effect of near monopoly market dominance by a tiny number of big players if and when it increases the prices paid by consumers." (H/T: Olivia Solon)
Funny how a seven-figure salary can correct your naive opinions, isn't it? µ
And it'll even undo the damage
Affected employees have 60 days to find a new home at the company
Doesn't inspire confidence in HongMeng's appeal
But don't get too excited if you've already got one