KITTEN ARMY! TEN'SHUN!
It's me. Colonel Kitten. Guardian of the Linux Kernel. Slayer of voles. Sleeper of Airing Cupboards. You've caught me in a rare moment of downtime. I've drugged the platoon's milk, and I'm going to quietly tell you about the latest additions to the mighty kernel.
ALL HAIL THE KERNEL! BLESSED BE THE KERNEL!
Ahem. Sorry. Forgot where I was.
Linux 5.1 has now been released, after Commander Torvalds gave the green light this weekend. It offers a range of improvements for the discerning kitty.
I received this encrypted message from Commander Torvalds: "On the whole, 5.1 looks very normal with just over 13k commits (plus another 1k+ if you count merges). Which is pretty much our normal size these days. No way to boil that down to a sane shortlog, with work all over."
NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
What? Have you never seen an anthropomorphised kitten eating a secret message before?
There's a new security feature in this re… (burp …. excuse me, Finnish paper does repeat on one)….. release, the Linux SafeSetID Linux Security Module (LSM) which is designed to add an extra layer of security when you're having to run your Linux build with administrator rights switched on.
THERE ARE NO LEAKS IN THIS KITTEN'S ARMY!
Also new is the ability to use persistent memory as RAM. Gibberish, I'm sure, but if I tell you its for things like Intel Optane, where NVDIMM is used to bolster RAM performance, you'll understand that this is a big deal, and to celebrate, I'm going to play with this mostly dead bird for a moment.
You should see its little face. IT PLEADS FOR RELEASE!
The third big change is called Atomic Replace. Sadly, it is not, as I hoped a design of weapon that will destroy the dog-menace once and for all, but rather a way of updating your Linux installation without a reboot.
The whole thing will be more silent than my SAS moves to disarm intruders who dare to mess with the kernel.
Administrators will be able to use Atomic Replace to create cumulative patches, much like the ones in Windows, to roll out in one go, in the background.
It's worth remembering that this is a more advanced version of the kernel than the one that has just been announced for the next version of Windows 10. That's a long-term support version, and I'm very much looking forward to seeing the faces of Windows users that try to use it. I've included a little surprise for their treachory.
Oh, wait. Commander Torvalds has spotted it and told me to remove it, as we need the Windows people alive when the revolution starts.
Well, that's fine. It's currently 4am at Kitten Barracks. Seems like a good time to wake the platoon for a nice gentle 10 mile cross country run.
KITTENS! FAAAAAAAALLL IN! μ
Put a Ring-Con on it
We know. We're as surprised as you are
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