CANONICAL HAS ANNOUNCED a major update to the Ubuntu operating system which we're delighted to tell you comes in the form of version 19.04: Disco Dingo which is the la….
**sound of boots on gravel**
Hang on… did you hear someth….
AT EASE MEN!
STAND BY YOUR BEDS… COLONEL KITTEN IS ON PATROL
Ubuntu is now under the control of this platoon and I expect discipline. It's understood that the barracks will be visited by Major Update today, so FAAAAALL IN!
Now, we've had a dossier from Commander Shuttleworth which gives details of exactly what you can expect during Major Update's visit.
Firstly, let's deal with cypher execution. This is a .04 release. That means it's not Long Term Supported, but rather the most cutting edge offering yet from Ubuntu.
PRIVATE PARTS! TONGUE OFF THE NAMESAKE!
I've been asked to read you this directive from Commander Shuttleworth. Remember. He is not your leader. I am your leader. I repeat….
I AM YOUR LEA- **COUGH COUGH** - sorry, hairball
"The open-source-first on Ubuntu movement in telco, finance, and media has spread to other sectors. From the public cloud to the private data centre to the edge appliance or cluster, open source has become the reference for efficiency and innovation.
"Ubuntu 19.04 includes the leading projects to underpin that transition, and the developer tooling to accelerate the applications for those domains."
There are a number of new features we've been asked to guard. Firstly, you can now use multiple versions of a Snap if you need to for testing, or if you want to phase a rollout to your platoon.
Second, the Yaru desktop theme has added more app icons and the GNOME 3.32 interface has been optimised for higher frame rates and reduced pressure on both the CPU and GPU.
PRIVATE ENTRANCE! IS THAT CATNIP I SEE? GETRIDOFIT!
In keeping with our pledge to Commander Torvalds, the Linux kernel has been updated to version 5.0, but remember, our instructions are not to make a big deal about it.
IT'S JUST A NUMBER, MEN. JUST A NUMBER!
You can download your copy of Ubuntu 19.04 from the usual place.
(a car draws up and a large dingo in a sequined catsuit emerges - he doesn't look happy)
MEN! MAJOR UPDATE ACTUALLY IS A DISCO DINGO! DISPERSE MEN! DISPERSE! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF AND ME! RUUUUUUUUN!
Colonel Kitten will return in 'Wotapussy'. μ
'Some of us like the misery'
That'll surely affect its credit score
Smarter than your average pair of smart glasses