WHAT DO you get if you cross a dead horse and a dumpster fire? Facebook's apps for Windows Phone, of course!
Not for much longer, however, as Facebook - in between f*cking up right left and centre - has announced that it will shutter its Windows Phone apps on 30 April.
Windows Phone users are already getting notifications of this impending ending, which will affect the main Facebook app, as well as Messenger and Instagram. All will remain available via the browser.
This is all fairly immaterial as there are currently more people using Symbian than Windows Phone, so it's likely to affect a few hundred thousand people globally - if that.
The one remaining question is what on earth took Facebook this long? Microsoft officially canned Windows Phone in 2017, after foolishly believing it could gatecrash the smartphone party several years late.
In fact, Windows Phone is now end of life with no further security updates being issued, and many of the major players on the app side had abandoned ship a long time ago. App development isn't cheap, and keeping Windows Phone ticking over for the sake of a happy few simply wouldn't be cost-effective.
That said, the happy few are just that - sharing hints and tips on how to keep Windows Phone working with the enthusiasm of a Cuban with a jalopy.
Through a mixture of third-party apps and browser shortcuts, there's a silent determination not to let Balfour's fever dream of a world made up of tiled apps displayed on a bunch of Nokia's with ridiculous cameras (what goes around came around on that one, eh Huawei?).
Although inherently safe, (because who would hack a Windows Phone?), there's always a risk of running an end of -life handset, and so as numbers continue to dwindle, it's amazing that enough about Windows Phone still works at all.
The death of Facebook and its subsidiaries in Windows Phone leaves a very thin offering behind unless you still have a Zune. μ
Tabs to more Ctrl and less Win. Such Fn.
Either that or it's a really intense holiday