IT'S A well-known fact that Mac users suck.
The extent of the issue, however, has only just come to light, as both Apple's support forums and Reddit are ablaze with the newly discovered repair method for faulty Macbook keyboards - oral relief.
A reader sent us links to a discussion about faulty space bars and ways to get the machine working again, without having to go and consult the Genius Bar.
One user wrote about some example of YouTube videos he had watched whilst trying to fix his machine: "…one commenter suggested covering your spacebar with your mouth and SUCKING. Apparently, it successfully dislodges debris causing the problem and people are hailing it as a success - shutting down now to try it".
A second post, timestamped twenty minutes later and titled "IT WORKS!" confirmed: "OK, so you obviously can't get your whole mouth over the spacebar but lips pressed above and below, followed by pressing and a super sucking action along it and I guess it does the equivalent of a vacuum combined with compressed debris dealt with."
What particularly delights us about this cunning-lint/dust is that the OP actually implies that they tried to get the whole space bar in there in the first place.
Remember kids - when it comes to sticking things in your mouth… just the tip, yo?
Of course the issue of crumbs in the keyboard isn't isolated to Mac users, but you have to be in a committed relationship with something before you let something that's probably riddled with bacteria in your mouth, especially as what it produces is likely to leave a fairly revolting taste that it's difficult to get rid of.
Maybe some sort of dental dam is in order? Certainly, Apple thinks so as it added a "membrane" to stop the issue infecting things it shouldn't.
The official Apple line, however, is that hardware faults like this need to be fixed by a professional. iFixit's teardown adds weight to that, with a repairability score of 3/10 for the most recent models.
We'd also add that opening an orifice on a MacBook can't then be closed with a hot bath.
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We asked a MacBook for comment, but it was smoking a cigarette and demanding cuddles, so we left. μ
'Some of us like the misery'
That'll surely affect its credit score