NINTENDO APPEARS TO HAVE learned absolutely nothing from its games. If there's one thing we've learned from Nintendo's body of work, it's that giving somebody called Bowser the tiniest bit of responsibility leads to brutal authoritarianism all across the Mushroom Kingdom.
But unperturbed, Nintendo will put Doug Bowser in charge of Nintendo of America, following the retirement of Reggie Fils-Aime.
If you're racking your brains trying to remember which of Bowser's extended family of Koopas Doug is, you can stop right now: this Bowser is distinctly human shaped. Here's proof.
He's currently senior vice president of sales and marketing but will take the reigns of the company on 15 April.
He's got some big boots to fill. Reggie Fils-Aime has become a real fan favourite for Nintendo lovers, and Twitter is mourning his loss, which should make Bowser (Doug, not Dragon) a little anxious.
"Nintendo owns a part of my heart forever," Fils-Aime said in a video shared by the official Nintendo account. "It's a part that is filled with gratitude - for the incredibly talented people I've worked with, for the opportunity to represent such a wonderful brand, and most of all, to feel like a member of the world's most positive and enduring gamer community.
"As I look forward to departing in both good health and good humour, this is not ‘game over' for me, but instead ‘levelling up' to more time with my wife, family and friends."
Bowing out with the Switch still dominating the world of gaming is probably the right time to go, rationally speaking: who would want the Wii U to be their swansong? Happy trails, Reggie. Enjoy the peace and quiet of a world where nobody keeps asking you about Mario Galaxy 3. µ
'Some of us like the misery'
That'll surely affect its credit score