SCATOLOGY ENTHUSIASTS have a new reason to like fast food after a study revealed that every single McDonald's touchscreen tested had traces of poo on it.
The investigation by tube-seat lining newspaper Metro and London Metropolitan University looked at a range of the automated ordering screens from across the country and found that they had all been touched by the hand of Mr Hanky.
The touchscreens, introduced to UK branches over the past couple of years have been a big hit with customers sick of waiting in queues to shout their order three times at someone who still gets it wrong and then discovers the milkshake machine is blocked.
But whilst the technology has matured enough to make such a system viable, it seems that not enough people are mature enough to clean up after going to the loo, leaving traces of their brown DNA signature, and then leaving it for other people to touch before they immediately handle "food".
"We were all surprised how much gut and faecal bacteria there was on the touchscreen machines. These cause the kind of infections that people pick up in hospitals," explains Dr Paul Matewele from London Met.
"For instance Enterococcus faecalis is part of the flora of gastrointestinal tracts of healthy humans and other mammals. It is notorious in hospitals for causing hospital-acquired infections."
One branches order screen had traces of staphylococcus, a highly contagious bacteria that can cause toxic shock and blood poisoning. It is also one of the bacteria that is becoming more resistant to conventional antibiotics.
In two branches, including London's Oxford Street (though as McDonald's aficionados until now, we should point out there are several branches down that stretch) there was Listeria, which can be incredibly dangerous to unborn babies.
This one is less about the poo, and more about not using a hanky, but if it gets into an open cut, then its easily spread.
McDonald's has confirmed that it does disinfect the screens, but Dr Matewele adds that it ‘could not have been strong enough' as the bacteria traces could be found for ‘days on end'.
Still, at least they're not showing porn.
A statement from the ‘restaurant' said: "Our self-order screens are cleaned frequently throughout the day. All of our restaurants also provide facilities for customers to wash their hands before eating."
Carly will never eat a chicken nugget again. Till next time. μ
Take that parcel thieves. Actually no, don't
Litter Tray Bien
It's the U2 debacle all over again