LAST WEEK, WIKIPEDIA vandals made headlines around the world by replacing the President of the United States' face with a penis. It turns out this veiny vandalism wasn't neutered by the banning of three accounts, and the battle has proved longer and harder than admins could have predicted.
In the escalating battle of tackle-terrorism, Trump's Wikipedia page has been hit at least five times, and the attackers have got increasingly sophisticated at smuggling the skin flute onto the page without arousing suspicion.
For starters, the vandals have started shuffling schlongs, no longer content with packing the same pecker each time preventing file fingerprinting techniques from wheedling out the wangers. They've also taken to giving the offending pickles innocent-sounding file names, such as "64 year old 3.jpg," rather than "Trump todger.jpg".
None of these attacks would work if the other precautions Wikipedia has pushed out had proved effective. Right now, Trump's Wikipedia page is under "extended confirmed protection" which severely limits the number of people that can make edits. Only accounts that have been around for more than a month and that have chalked up over 500 edits can rewrite the President's history, which sounds like a sensible precaution. You have to be really dedicated to Wikipedia winkles to jump through those hoops.
But apparently the vandals have got around this, hacking dormant accounts of older editors, and even getting trusted editors to smuggle in ham candles unnoticed, Wikipedia admin TheSandDoctor told The Verge. Four accounts have apparently been blocked as a result of the latest dong edits.
The whole affair has led to calls for drastic measures. "I don't know how many of these accounts the hacker has, but it's a lot," wrote one admin. "I know it's unusual/unheard of to lock an article like this, but if we have to, we have to."
If that doesn't nobble the peen posters, then nothing will… assuming the President doesn't do anything noteworthy in the next 24 hours, which he almost certainly will. µ
Up to half-a-million Hudl tablets are still out there. We were surprised too.
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