IF WE WERE SO INCLINED, we could go back over the last few weeks and on the vast majority of days we've had to bring you news of the latest borkage to Microsoft software.
Up to now, it's been that pesky Windows 10 October 2018 Update causing the problems, but we all know that there's no way the same thing could happen to Microsoft Office is there?…. is there?
Turns out, yes, there flippin' well is. Three patches to be precise, all from the November 2017 Patch Tuesday drop, and two out of three are for a spectacular niche reason.
Students of recent Japanese history (proto-present if you will) will know that at the end of last year, Emperor Akihito abdicated as leader, giving his son Narhuito the role.
Because of the way that Japanese calendars work, this event involved a bit of updating to reflect the new Narhuitoianist era.
Needless to say, Microsoft ballsed it. KB2863821 and KB4461522 have had to be pulled as they were causing crashes. Quite why this affects someone at a quantity surveyors in Croydon we're not sure, but affect it, it does and now you're being advised to whip ‘em off your system as quickly as possible.
Users of 'Click-to-Run' Office (Office 365 desktop) shouldn't need to do anything as Microsoft has recalled those patches remotely, because it can.
The third patch KB4461529 is a bit of a weird one - it's a security update, so Microsoft isn't recommending you uninstall that, but rather is telling people to access their mail on the web portal instead until a fix is released.
Which is a bit like saying "Don't use your pen in case the ink runs out. Have this crayon".
Thing is - this one happens as soon as you open Office, which gives rise to the question of exactly what quality control Microsoft is doing that is letting all these patches past internal testing, past the Insiders, and out into the world.
So, we address this last line directly to the head of quality control at Microsoft: U OK Hun? μ
We should be shocked, but...
But the search giant has now squashed the bug
But it's not yet available here in Blighty