THE YEAR IS 2020... Brexit is in full swing as Brits scramble for scrap to trade with dodgy black market types in exchange a tin of beans, Trump has finally tweeted himself to death, and Apple has released Macs powered by Cupertino's own processors.
At WWDC 2020, Tim Cook leaps onto the stage towards the end of the keynote, his hair shaved to a bare dome, and donning a roll neck and pale jeans ensemble, completing his attempt at Steve Jobs resurrection.
"ONE MORE THING!" he screams, covering the front row of Apple fanatics with drool that they greedily lap it up.
"We have worked to transform computing with Macs for decades. Now we're on our next step. All new Macs and MacBooks will use our custom-built the iChip. This means we'll no longer need to rely on Intel," Cook says.
At the same time, two Apple developers clad in black drag ex-Intel CEO Brian Krzanich onto the stage and Phil Schiller beheads him with the iKatana, an immaculately designed sword created in response to Elon Musk's Boring company's flamethrower.
"Run the video," says Cook, and Jony Ive, whose voice has become so earnest it's now banned under the Geneva Convention, appears.
"What we did is develop a chip from the ground up," he says to rapturous applause." "Working on ARM's architecture we took the best silicon our slaves could produce and used it to create our very one processor that as beautiful [pause for dramatic effect] as it is powerful."
And cue a load of fancily presented figures that show why Apple's chip is so much faster than those of AMD and Intel, yadda, yadda, yadda, with the briefest of nods to Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company (TSMC) who worked with Cupertino's chip nerds to help it create its own processor.
This vision of the future could come to pass if indeed the predictions of analyst and Apple oracle Ming-Chi Kuo are correct. Kuo reckons, as reported 9to5Mac, that Apple could bring machines running on its ARM-based chips as early as 2020 or 2021.
Such a transition from reliance on Intel's processor to designing and then manufacturing its own chips would make 2020 seem like quite a tight deadline for Apple to present such in-house processors.
But then again Cupertino has vast amounts of cash and all manner of secret facilities and projects, so it could have been squireling away at chips for years and come a year and a half, it could be ready to show off said silicon slices in its new Macs and MacBooks.
As ever, watch this space, or at least come back in 2020... we'll be waiting. µ
'Some of us like the misery'
That'll surely affect its credit score