IN THE CURRENT CLIMATE it can be difficult to tell what is real and what isn't, especially where the US of ruddy A is concerned.
So let us feign shock the news that the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has just had to admit it lied.
Remember earlier this year it was ball-aching over a DDoS attack to its comments system that interfered with comment gathering over the long-standing issue of net neutrality? Remember how everyone questioned if it was an oversized coffee mug full of donkey bollocks?
Well, yeah, it was actually, and the FCC admits it.
There was no hack. There was talk about the viability of staging one, but there never actually was one.
Even more strangely, Ajit Pai made a statement about the report, despite the fact the report hasn't actually been published. This is what we generally call getting our defence in early.
Of course, Pai blames the other guy, in this case, the Obama-era CIO who he said "provided inaccurate information about this incident to me, my office, Congress, and the American people. This is completely unacceptable."
"I'm also disappointed that some working under the former CIO apparently either disagreed with the information that he was presenting or had questions about it, yet didn't feel comfortable communicating their concerns to me or my office," Pai continued.
"On the other hand, I'm pleased that this report debunks the conspiracy theory that my office or I had any knowledge that the information provided by the former CIO was inaccurate and was allowing that inaccurate information to be disseminated for political purposes."
Now, let's pick that apart and get some level of the type of ship that the man we shall simply refer to in future as "Ajit Android 9.0 Pai" is running.
First off, he blames the previous administration. Standard. Specifically, he blames someone who isn't there to protect themselves. Typical.
The next bit is interesting - the 'I'm disappointed staff felt they couldn't come to me' line is exactly what inapproachable management say when people are scared to talk to them - they try and throw it back at the staff for being wrong for being scared. It's a classic ploy.
Lastly, he mentions that he's debunked a conspiracy. Thing is, there are still so many unanswered questions here that he's not really debunked much of anything. It's a bit like saying "I've blocked the hole in the bath" without really thinking about how much damage there's been to the flat below. In other words "fixed it" is only half the problem.
We still don't know who invented and perpetuated the lie. We still don't know why the FCC didn't whistleblow the doubts it had much earlier.
Most of all, we still don't know why Ajit Pai thinks he's down with the kids - and that's the mystery that will probably endure long after Trump is in jail 2020. μ
It's an onomatopoeic week for Google
Hope that free lunch was delicious
It's like Bixby being terrible never happened
Notch to be outdone