MICROSOFT HAS been explaining why its updates that come riddled with bugs aren't actually riddled with bugs at all - it's clearly reality at fault.
In a blog post over the weekend, John Wilcox, a Windows-as-a-Service evangelist, explained that his company had done everything it said it would, and therefore, where we've all been going wrong all this time.
Here's the thing you see. Microsoft's AI algorithms told systems that the April Update for Windows 10 was completely ready for business use. So any problems we've had must have been our own fault. Apparently.
But that's fine, because now we have a blog to tell us why everything is for the best in this best of all possible worlds.
It explains why Patch Tuesday is Patch Tuesday, though it doesn't delve far into the reasons for the bundles of patches that have replaced individual ones, which is proving one of the main sources of contention.
Since you asked, Tuesday was chosen to give you Monday to fire-fight other things around the office. Thoughtful, huh?
There are three rules on which Microsoft (apparently) releases its updates. The first is to be "Simple and Predictable". It's true, they are simple. That's why they're going wrong and that's actually fairly predictable.
The second - Be Agile - refers to the company's willingness to go outside the usual delivery parameters when things go wrong or the unexpected strikes. Which would be fine, except that things always go wrong and that's usually the unexpected that strikes.
The third is Be Transparent. This is the hilarious one because most people agree that Microsoft is anything but transparent - lack of transparency caused Updategate and most people will tell you that the corporate policy that got us there hasn't really changed.
We're told about the sensitivity of security and the way that it's much easier for non-security to be predictably rolled out in the fourth week of the month (third for ‘legacy' version of Windows).
You can read it all for yourself of course, but it seems to be a spectacular job of telling us how it is, not how the rest of us wants it. Plus ca Change, Microsoft. μ
Flagship fakes aim that the incoming Samsung Galaxy S10+
Don't expect to be surprised later today
Your phone call may be recorded for leaking purposes
But the company is yet to dish, officially