IT'S 2033; the iPhone XYZ is out, Kevin has the Surface Phone he's always wanted, Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un are on a comedy tour, Facebook has every bit of data everywhere, Elon Musk is flying to the sun, and every UK home has 'full fibre' broadband.
At least that what the government wants, well the last bit at least, as the National Infrastructure Assessment 2018 report expects all homes and businesses to have full fibre connections in 15 year's time.
By 2025, the report reckons there should be 15 million homes and businesses with full fibre broadband and, come 2030, 25 million buildings should have access to the fast and reliable broadband connectivity.
Those targets might be subject to change, but they're arguably heady ambitions all the same as full fibre broadband connections, whereby fibre cables are run directly to a building rather than rely on copper wiring to take up the slack in what's called the 'last mile', are rather slim in terms of coverage and adoption.
One of the problems is that telecoms operators need to lay fibre cabling, which is a disruptive and expensive undertaking. So they'll only do so if there's enough interest in fibre broadband to warrant pissing off people with roadworks and digging up streets. Given the ageing UK population, many of whom probably don't give a damn about streaming in 4K or getting involved in webcamming, not every home want or needs as nippy internet connection.
And with leasehold buildings, especially ones with flats, there's the challenge of getting permission from landlords and management firms; we know this through bitter experience. This would mean the government would probably need to rework existing property legislation and parameters, which is quite an ask especially when considering that a good few Tory MPs are landlords.
Speaking of the Tories, given the Tory-led government is currently choking on the Brexit excrement sandwich it made itself, we'd hazard a guess that there's not going to be a cohort of government ministers and their civil servant lackeys rushing to figure out just how the hell they can spread fibre across the UK.
Then we need to consider places like Wales, where you'll find the odd house on a hill... in the middle of bloody nowhere. If our esteemed leaders believe that BT and Virgin will especially run a fibre up to some grey stone cottage just so Dai Jones can pleasure himself to Orange is the New Black, then more power to them; we can't see it happening though.
But they didn't get off scot-free
Borkage also downs banks telephone banking service
Not the microwave, calm down
Oh come on, not this again