SUCCESS IS SO often the product of bombast. Whether it's "I have one of the greatest memories of all time" or "The Beatles are bigger than Jesus", a little bit of self-confidence goes a long way.
And so it is, Microsoft has announced that the latest version of Windows 10, known as the "April Update" is stable enough for business.
But not only that, the update which has caused so much moaning is in fact "exceeding earlier versions of Windows 10 in both reliability and performance".
Well, mea culpa Microsoft. There was us thinking it was another classic seat-of-pants jobbie.
Microsoft also claims a 20 per cent reduction in system stability issues, and 20 per cent total reduction in operating system and driver stability.
The promised update speed improvements have come to pass, with a miraculous 63 per cent reduction in the amount of time your machine is offline during the updates. Plus, according to Microsoft's telemetry data, which you opted into, definitely, one computer in the States apparently took on the April Update with just 3 minutes offline.
We suspect it may have been a self-aware cray having a holiday.
Microsoft's Edge browser now launches between 40 and 50 per cent faster than it did before. But nobody actually gives a rat's about that anyway, because it's Edge.
Continuing this self-back slapping, Microsoft goes on to point out that its internal customer support lines have seen a reduction in demand with the April Update, with the figures being bourne out by OEMs as well.
Microsoft recently announced plans to close down forums and support lines for almost every product that isn't Windows 10.
John Cable (director of Program Management at Windows Servicing and Delivery) has confirmed that "As I've noted many times, we're always actively listening."
Which is interesting as, as far as we can tell, there are still no plans to stop rolling out security patches in all-or-nothing roll-ups, and surely if they were listening, they'd have got the message that no-one likes it. Just a thought.
The fact remains that despite blowing a lot of smoke, many of the problems that made it not "fit for business" should have been caught in Insider testing, and the 700 million machines Windows 10 is now installed on is a drop in the ocean to the two billion we were promised at launch.
Propaganda, thou art a heartless bitch. µ
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