GRIMES' BOYFRIEND Elon Musk has been on a bit of a roll lately, what with the definitely-not-flamethrowers, the tunnels under LA and his Doctor Seuss impression.
The last one is actually a reference to the first one, because the definitely-not-a-flamethrowers (DNAF) are starting to arrive and they come with instructlets, in rhyming couplets and frankly, they've won, coz we're finding them fun.
Clauses (which all have to be confirmed with a checkbox) include:
"I will not use this in a house
I will not point this at my spouse
I will not use this in an unsafe way
The best use is creme brûlée
… and that exhausts our rhyming ability"
Even the stuff that doesn't rhyme is good fun - some of the clauses (all referring to your purchase as 'not-a-flamethrower') include indemnity for Musk against you smoking near the flamethrower, or indeed burning things to the ground with it.
Which sort of makes you wonder what he thinks you are going to do with it.
Certainly, the local law enforcement aren't too keen, with several states trying to ban the not-a-flamethrower altogether.
Musk is wise to this. It is, after all, not-a-flamethrower - and he's already checked the legal definition to prove it. Because, although flamethrowers are legal in 48 out of 50 states, this isn't one, because it doesn't throw flames far enough.
We still don't know exactly why Musk sold them in the first place. He's hardly mentioned it since, what with all the Grimes and the free trips under LA now his tunnel is ready.
So here's a quick recap:
A flamethrower allows short bursts of fire
The Greeks had built them first
Then in the wars, both sides did fire
them and into flames would burst
The Musk came down (some say from Mars)
Though Senators complained
He made a stripped down Flamethrower
A blowtorch for Propane
The fire guns sold in record time
And Musk was forced to scold
'If you burn to death, then don't blame me
Through rhyming, you were told'. µ
Bad for shareholders, mildly good for the planet
YouTube on the Tube
Claims that it hasn't ever actually worked