BORING INDIVIDUAL Alien Elon Musk has already sold $3.5m worth of his branded flamethrowers since they went on sale on Sunday.
The flamethrowers adorned with the "Boring Company" logo came about as a promise that if he sold out of a run of 50,000 branded hats, that he'd release the next logical piece of merchandising. Because keyrings are so 2015.
Priced at $500 each, he has already sold 7,000 death machines. You do the maths.
As well as the flamethrower, there was also the option to pick up an "overpriced" fire extinguisher for an extra $40, embossed with a "cool sticker".
Musk was seen being terribly irresponsible with his new toy on Instagram yesterday, charging the camera and laughing. He notes: "I want to be clear that a flamethrower is a super terrible idea. Definitely don't buy one. Unless you like fun."
Musk has also suggested that the flamethrower is "sentient" has a safe word of "cryptocurrency" and "comes with a free blockchain".
Let's be clear on this one. There is no real explanation as to why he is selling flamethrowers beyond the fact that he can and clearly thinks its funny. They really are flamethrowers (don't mix it up with your t-shirt cannon, kids) and have been demonstrated in several videos. There are more photos of Musk actually laughing since this gadget came about than at any time we can remember.
Anyone who has bought one won't have long to wait, they're shipping in the spring.
Uses aren't entirely clear (although we used to have one for clearing weeds which was pretty awesome), but Musk has already denied that he is planning to create a zombie apocalypse solely so he can generate a demand for flamethrowers.
There is an argument that if you aren't already in his cars, planes, spacecraft or hiding in his tunnels when the zombie apocalypse hits, then that's your own silly fault. µ
Bad for shareholders, mildly good for the planet
YouTube on the Tube
Claims that it hasn't ever actually worked