LATER TODAY will see the vote we've been fearing for years. The US Federal Communications Commission (FCC) will be attempting to pass a motion that will pave the way for the end of net neutrality. Ending it is a notion so ludicrous that the people who created the internet have told Chairman Ajit Pai that he's being a douche.
Pai knows he's a douche as well. Why else would he have announced the vote as people across the country were downing tools for the long Thanksgiving weekend to divert attention?
But Pai doesn't care. Pai has used his last opportunity to listen to reason over an issue that, once done can't easily be undone and will affect everyone - US-based and otherwise, to dress as f***ing Santa Claus and openly take the p*ss.
The man with the ludicrously large mug because he thinks he's 'just yo' pal' has responded to some 'mean tweets' including one from his hero Ron Swanson of Parks and Recreation (and oh, it is a thing of beauty, let's pause mid-sentence so we can bask in its mustachioed glory)
Dear @AjitPaiFCC , I noticed your Pyramid of Greatness and thought it felt strange in your office, given your stance. So I went to see Ron Swanson to ask if he'd care to weigh in & he dictated the below to me 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/ZHFrc4Vevf— Nick Offerman (@Nick_Offerman) December 7, 2017
with a video uploaded to some right-wing propaganda pipe The Daily Caller (link withheld on principle) in which he explains to ‘the kids' all the things that they will be able to do after he turns the internet into a magic money tree for his beloved Verizon and its brethren.
This includes being able to "'gram food" and watch "Game of Thrones".
Yeah, that's it mate, that's what we're all worried about. If we can watch some imaginary fantasy telly whilst taking pictures of our chimichanga.
This is about a lot more than that. This is about data being treated as equal, whether its photos of your dead grandmother, data from your Fitbit or government secrets. It's the principle on which the internet was founded and instead, less than two years after it was made clear that the people do not want it turned into a cash machine for your ISP chums, you're about to undo all that good work.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
It seems likely that the vote will go Pai's way today, providing that there isn't a last-minute legal battle to stop the vote (which could still happen, there are a lot of important people from the Senate and the tech industry who are royally p*ssed right now) but that doesn't mean it's over.
Keep fighting. Our American Friends - please pile the pressure on, we're not helpless to help you but you have more sway than we do, but we have your back.
As this piece was going to press, we heard that there may be a challenge based on the fact that many of the pro-abolition comments used fake identities. That might at least slow things down for a bit.
It might also give time for more people to see this corporate shilling blowhards attempts to break the internet by pretending to be down with the kids.
Join the fight - Fight For The Future. µ
Oh and it'll also help give aural pleasure
But it might still not be enough to make virtual reality super appealing
And a ridiculous competition
Now you can talk to your silly-looking earbuds too