ROBOT LOVERS come in all forms, not just the type who want to get it on with sex bot. Take Labour party deputy leader Tom Watson, for example, who reckons robots will not steal jobs and that society should welcome the rise of the machines.
Watson, who coincidentally shares his surname with IBM's Watson artificial intelligence, will apparently come to these conclusions during the launch of the final report of the Future of Work Commission, created by an independent committee looking into the effects of automation in British workers.
Paraphrasing David Cameron's "hug a hoody" quote, Watson wants the UK's workforce to "embrace an android", and according to The Guardian, will claim that a robot workforce has the potential to reverse the UK's economic decline and create just as many jobs as they steal. This could be wishful thinking, but at least Watson won't ask us to 'tickle a terminator', 'doink a droid' or 'copulate a cyborg'.
Seemingly forgetting the deluge of crap 2017 has dumped on politics and society, Watson believes autonomous machines will free-up humans to focus on work that delivers more economic benefits, and will claim "robots can set us free". Somewhere Bill Gates just choked on his poo water.
Of course, Watson's words are all very good and tinted with positivity, but the committee's report has noted that workers will need support to move to jobs that require new skills as they are ousted by their new robot pals.
This will need the government to find ways to prevent a gap larger gap between low and high-skilled workers from forming and leaving some people behind.
The report claims one-fifth of jobs in the UK could be at risk from automation, meaning the government will have a quite a task on its hands.
Given the Tories are still fumbling around with Brexit, making smart decisions on the future of work may be quite an ask. And Labour's track record of moves to improve the UK economy and world of work arguably set about the last recession, so a future Labour-led government would need to tread very carefully. Perhaps it's time for the Liber....ah who are we kidding.
To be honest, the report is the same thing everyone who's not scared of robots is saying: robots will nick some jobs but humans will adapt, as to quote Jurassic Park's Dr Ian Malcolm, "life finds a way"......unless tech messiah Elon Musk is right then we're all borked. µ
Stay one step ahead of the snakes in the grass
Because apparently we'd rather watch The Grand Tour than the news
But Branson prefers Newquay
You can read it like an.. well, you know