BOURBON PUSHER Jim Bean is making a play for tech fame with the release of Jim, a smart decanter that pours whiskey at your command.
Bark something like "Hey Jim, pour me a drink" and the decanter will squirt out some bourbon into a glass, mouth or pretty much anything under its nozzle. *Hic*
And that's about it. There's no smart Alexa assistant or abilities to order pizza and taxis through voice commands; you can try but you'll simply get a whiskey-based quip from recordings taken of Jim Bean's master distiller Fred Noe. *Hic*
Jim apparently works off a 3G connection that provides the voicsh rec...og...nition for the smart decanter, though the service will only last for around six months after the speaker has been activated. After that honeymoon period, you'll be left with just a normal decanter... did I ever tell you about my time in Kentucky...*Hic*
Now it'sh worth pointing out that despite the video promoting the Jim having a decidedly piss-taking vibe to it, poking fun at the Google Home and Amazon Ech... ech...*hic* Echo, the Jim is an acshual product.
And... and... I'll tell you another thing... it's going on sale for $34.99, according to my mate 'Danny The Verge Jones from up the road, you know the guy with the website... no that's Bob.. stay away from him *hic*.
That's like a bit more than a single bottle of the bourbon what goes in it... I love you guys *hic*... but you don't get any whiskey with the Jim, so you can fill it up with all manner of spirits.....hey, hey...can I have a shot of Tequila pleashe? *Hic*.
But... but... look... listen... it's apparently all sold out, so don't go expecting one to be stuffed in your stocking this Xmas.....*hic*.....OMG what's that song...*hic*.
You're probably thinking the Jim is a bit of a thinly veiled marketing ploy hic... how do I get home... *hic*... sorry, and you'd probably be right as Jim Beam has already dicked-around with tech-based mockery having made Apple branded shot glasses that mock the iWatch... Apple Watch *hic*.
But... whatever... it's a free world man... like do what you want...make a Jim Beam app or strap a decanter onto a Raspberry Pie... hic... you can do it... you're like so great... *hic*... Where are my keys?. µ
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Sadly that doesn't include offering you a beer
It's like the Hokey Cokey only for the stock market