CHEESE, TOMATO AND DOUGH outfit Pizza Hut has a new delivery solution for its drivers that can keep pizza warmer for longer and a very thick parka coat.
The coat looks huge and bulky so don't go getting in one and wandering through a china shop. It is called an "oven hot delivery system" and uses, and causes, hot pouches as a means of keeping balls - mozzarella - toasty and warm.
"What do space blankets, winter jackets and home insulation have in common?," asks the firm, presumably rhetorically
"The material from all three are now used to keep a Pizza Hut pizza hotter than ever as part of the pizza company's all-new oven hot delivery system".
This isn't the coat that we are talking about, but a pizza carry sack, that drivers can wrap around your dinner, or as the pizza pimp has it: "The delivery system features an all-new delivery pouch with 3M Thinsulate Insulation thermal technology and a re-engineered pizza box with crisp sheet inserts, which combined dramatically improves the overall heat curve".
If you love pizza and pizza ephemera, then the firm has its eye on you with its limited edition Pizza Parka. This is made of the same heat crazy material, and could be worn if you liked in an arctic research station, during winter.
"What consumers want more than anything else is a hot pizza, which is why we couldn't be more excited about the system we have developed to make sure we serve a hot, crispy and craveable Pizza Hut pizza every time," said Zipporah Allen, vice president of marketing, Pizza Hut. "This is just another way that Pizza Hut is making it easier for pizza fans to get a better pizza".
And a coat Mrs Allen, and a coat. The PR on this is full of the stuff of nightmares, and talks about an "entire delivery ecosystem," and "a re-engineered pizza box and a new crisp sheet, the research sparked the development of an all-new pizza delivery pouch featuring three different thermal insulation materials to help ensure the pizza stays oven hot, the cheese stays melted and the crust stays crisp."
But the coat? What of the coat?! Here is Allen again to tell you why you might want or need it.
"What better way to showcase how hot our new delivery system keeps our pizzas than outfitting some of our biggest fans with a winter parka made from the same materials," said Allen. "The Pizza Parka is going to keep the lucky recipients hot in the same cold-weather elements that our pizzas often endure on the delivery trip from our restaurants to their front doors."
Importantly the coat has an internal pizza pocket, which could be handy if you like to sneak your Hawaiian into someplace that isn't your face. It also has a smartphone pocket that you can bash in return for pizzas.
Oh, and it looks like it is restricted to the US for now, which of course makes absolutely perfect sense. µ
Soon people may also be assessed by their flaws
More chat, less cloud
But firm falls short of promising a fix
Firm finds a way to bypass flawed technology