SAD MEN, WHO ARE OVER 40 AND SINGLE, unshaved and two days away from a shower, fret not, you are not at your lowest ebb. You are not sat outside the Apple store in Sydney waiting for the firm to announce and release the latest iPhone so that you can be one of the first fanatics to own one.
You may be covered in pizza crust and cat hairs, but you are not Mazen Kourouche, who the Mirror website reports is planning to spend the next week explaining to strangers why he is waiting in the street, and why he doesn't "need to get a hobby, actually".
The good news for us old embittered cynics is that this chap is only 20 years old and a student, making him prime material for the follies of youth. He told the Daily Mail that this is the third time that he has queued up like this and that last year he was third in line.
He has reportedly built up YouTube fans who like to see people standing around outside shops, and has found someone prepared to pay him $50,000 AUS to hold him the premier spot in the line.
"Last year, I was third and the year before that, I was 100th or something so I'm stepping it up every year." In a way yeah, you might be mate. Speaking of mates Kourouche is not going to be alone outside the store and a couple of his student pals are going to help him wile away the days when he should probably be studying.
'I'm here with two of my friends, we lined up yesterday. They spent the night here last night and I've been here from 9am and I'll stay here until 9am when they'll be back," he said.
"They said it's not too bad, but the roadworks kept them up at night, so it's hard to sleep. It's not too cold, but if the weather turns, we'll have to leave our stuff here and go spend some time inside the Apple store or go to McDonald's, that's 24 hours." µ
C3-PO, R2-D2, BB-8 and other Androids
Helpful cyber vigilante gets short changed by customer services
...you know, now it's less confusing...
Firm will no longer provide updates for its first Android mobe