HEY KIDS! Want to be down with some of the hippest, raddest people in your United of Kingdom? Well, look no further because now you can get rewarded for the products you use nevery day, with Microsoft Rewards, which is now almost live in the United England!
Yes, the rewards programme literally no-one is talking about is available for you, the hungry user who knows that searching Bing in return for free stuff is more important than using the search engine of your choice.
Relaunched as Microsoft Rewards in the US last summer, because people couldn't cope with the oxymoron of "Bing" and "Reward", the service has seen literally people sign up to get free games, books, music and anti-virus software in return for using the greatest platform since old Will Shakespeare put a plank of wood on a couple of barrels and said "There you go Tibulus, they'll see you better on that".
The service will also replace Xbox Rewards and eventually, currency itself.
Of course, in order to make the best of the service, you will need to switch your browser to Microsoft Edge, which means being on Windows 10, but that's okay because as Microsoft never stops reminding us whether we like it or not, Edge is faster and uses less battery. Your experience may well differ.
At present, there's no official launch date for the service but sure enough we had the option to sign up for Microsoft Rewards in our account today, and were greeted by a friendly "Coming Soon" screen, that just made us grin so hard someone genuinely thought we had overdosed on calcium supplements.
The US version of the service will actively monitor your browser habits (yay for privacy happening) and reward you for using Edge, Bing, Windows Store and yes, we can hold up for a minute if you need to Google what all these words mean. It's also rolled out in Australia.
Other browser companies have tried similar schemes except don't be ridiculous of course they didn't, they have some bloody pride, FFS. µ
Presumably 'Richard' is your next security worry
Good news if the kids need a summer job
Welcome back, Zoinkerberg
That's another good reason not to see it