A SURVEY DONE BY AN INSURANCE COMPANY has found out more about people than we ever wanted to know, and revealed that one in every four people would shag Siri if they could.
They can't, of course. Siri is a voice on a phone, and lusting after it is just weird. The survey found that people imagine that Siri is a large white man with a chiselled jaw and all that jazz, and that Alexa is a classic English rose type.
The image shows how the assistants might look at 30-years-old. Both are white, because that is how Brits picture them, and apparently things like their curtness in responding make them more attractive to people who find themselves attracted to monotone voices with no body behind them.
There is a lot of detail in this because insurance company Insurance 2 Go dug really deep here and even asked punters what kind of clothes the assistant might be wearing. We had never considered any of this before so we are going to make like its a road accident and slow down and check it out.
"Comments from individuals back-up the idea that the computer constructs are imagined to be attractive. Several said they believed Siri to be ‘handsome', while Alexa was described as ‘pretty' multiple times," it adds.
"One Londoner stated she would be the kind of girl your mum would like. Some Brits even offered up stereotypical professions they imagined them to have, with Siri likened to a cool businessman, and Alexa a sexy secretary."
If you ask us they are both a pain in the arse. We don't care how old they are supposed to be and we have never considered what skin tone they might be. The Insurance company does care though, and has gone to some effort to find out that Glaswegians think that Alexa is 25 and most definitely white.
"Siri is also quite monotone, which many studies state makes a man more attractive. However, most of it is just about fantasy," added the firm. µ
It's the best smartphone the company has released yet
And it'll cost you £449.99
On means on. Off means slightly less on, but still on.
FAQ is a big far q to the PM's persistent peeking problem