DEAR DIARY, today was a good day. Because I, Kevin, the last Windows Mobile user in the world, have my hands on the Windows 10 Mobile Creators Update! All is right with the world.
The day started normally, with my traditional packet of Wotsits and a game of hand roulette with Good Morning Britain (I close my eyes when it's Piers not Susannah), and then I grabbed my phone only to see the message I had longed for. The update had arrived!
I was so engrossed in watching the progress bar that I walked out of my basement bachelor pad, tripped over the dog, and Mum had to come and rescue me. She just doesn't understand how exciting it is that the Creators Update is here.
Apparently, it's rolling out in waves, and yes, definitely it's only two of my seventeen Windows handsets that have got the update.
Of course, Microsoft is being tight and not giving it to everyone even though Windows Mobile is the best and all the others smell of poo.
It's coming to the HP Elite x3, the Lumia 550, 640, 640XL, 650, 950, 950XL Alcatel IDOL 4s and OneTouch Fierce XL, the SoftBank 503LV, VAIO Phone Biz, MouseComputer MADOSMA Q601, and Trinity NuAns NEO. I've got all of them ones obviously.
Samsung must be sick as dogs that they has launched the Galaxy S8 with Android, knowing that the Creators Update for Windows 10 Mobile cements it being like the best thing ever.
I managed to get marmalade on the phone because mum was trying to straighten my tie while I am eating and getting the updates. The INQUIRERs says that there is not much new in the update anyway, but they don't understand the subtle nuances that make the bug fixes a joy.
It's also much smoother to use which is great for when I am looking at back issues of Nuts on it. They never should have got rid of that magazine. And my mum shouldn't of thrown my paper copies away when she found them.
Anyway, once I got rid of the marmalade, I went to work, and even though the MPs who are dead angry because there's going to be another election and flushed my head down the bog again, I didn't mind because there's Creators Update.
Then I came home and watched Mrs Browns Boys until Babestation got to the bit with no clothes on.
Like I said, it was a good day. µ
The other Google news of the week
Everyone clear the Aria!
And it's Samsung's thinnest and lightest tablet yet