MICROSOFT HAS committed to banal updates to the Windows Operating System in March and September.
Sorry. That should read ‘biannual updates'.
The company has basically been doing this for a while and we knew that after the Creators Update (Redstone 2) was released in late March that we'd start to see evidence of ‘Redstone 3' (no marketing name for that one yet) in September.
But now, it's official.
In a big shiteful of marketing hot air, it was explained that: "We've also heard our customers want more predictability and simplicity from this update servicing model to help make deployments and updates of Microsoft products easier."
The proclamation begins with an update to how Windows 10 adoption is going.
"We're thrilled that Windows 10 continues to be the fastest-adopted version of Windows ever, with more than 400 million monthly active devices and ever growing adoption in the enterprise."
Hang on. That's seven months the company has been banging on about "fastest growing" and using the figure of 400 million. Given that it was aiming for 2 billion by June, they are a loooooong way behind schedule
And what does "ever growing adoption" mean? One company a week is "ever growing" but doesn't make it less crap. Marketing man speak with forked tongue. As usual.
To put it in perspective, we worked out that means that 1.8 billion people who could have upgraded to Windows 10, opted not to. And it looks like that figure flatlined as soon as the upgrade stopped being free.
Anyway, then, for some reason in a blue jpeg so we can't copy and paste it directly: "Based on this feedback, I am excited to share today that we are aligning the servicing models for Windows 10, Office 365 ProPlus (with added caffeine?) and System Centre Configuration Manager for our customers, particularly those with Secure Productive Enterprise."
So, let's unpack that a bit. Basically, what Microsoft is doing is saying that it is going to offer the thing that it planned to do all along, but with the added bonus that it will put business customers (who, let's face it, haven't exactly flocked to Windows 10) first.
It goes on like this, pointing to an 18-month support for each update, and most importantly, confirming that Redstone 3 which is expected to see the UI get a massive overhaul will follow in September. Just like we thought, nay, knew it would.
But that figure of 400 million is troubling. It represents nine months of flatline, even with Windows running on Xboxes and all sort of other things. We think there are people at Redmond absolutely bricking it. µ
What we want to know is whether we can still get McDonalds delivered?
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