PICTURE THIS, YOU ARE A MAN CALLED Matthew Herrick you work at a desk, an average desk with average days. Occasionally a man will turn up fully expecting to have sex with you, or they might turn up at your house with the same intention.
Now, picture Matt Herrick getting a bit sick, not to mention the stick, from of all the activity and wanting to get rid of it quick. He worked out, somehow, that the never-ending array of always available and never fussy penises, was coming his way, from Grindr.
This is America dudes, so of course he has sued. It is no wonder. Imagine not being able to get anywhere without wading knee deep through men who need something grinding.
Poor Herrick does like dinkles, but surely no one wants a downpour, and the account was set up by an ex he'd met on Grindr. That means that that the account and personal information, together with what Herrick claims are outright lies, were all put up there by an a-hole who wanted to bully someone.
"What are Grindr's legal responsibilities," asks Aaron Mackey, a Frank Stanton legal fellow at the Electronic Frontier Foundation from out of nowhere. "And what are its corporate and ethical responsibilities to its users when it learns that its platform is being abused in this way?"
Grindr wouldn't talk to US news outfit Fox about this case specifically, but we expect it had willies on its mind. It did come up with something on the general nature of wang wrangling.
It blahed that it is "committed to creating a safe environment through a system of digital and human screening tools, while also encouraging users to report suspicious and threatening activities. While we are constantly improving upon this process, it is important to remember that Grindr is an open [fnar-fnar] platform," it said.
"Grindr cooperates with law enforcement on a regular basis and does not condone abusive or violent behaviour."
Tell Matthew Herrick that the next time he steps out of a room and into a chase scene from the end of the Benny Hill Show. µ
Promises improved battery life through intelligent swapping
The social bookmark pioneer will soon be no more
Amazon says it was all a simple misheard command... or five
Judge awards Apple a further $140m