IF YOU'VE just taken delivery of a Google Home and thought "she sounds fit…." then you're not alone, apparently. According to a new study, one in four have fantasised about their personal assistant, be it Alexa, Cortana, Google Assistant or Siri.
A survey of over 1,000 UK adults who use voice technology on their smartphone, and an additional 100 Amazon Echo users, was published this week by Mindshare and the JWT ad agency.
It found that 26 per cent of users "fantasised" about their assistant while 37 per cent "love their voice assistant so much they wish it was a real person".
These people are, to use a technical term, tw*ts.
It's not surprising that as technology becomes more advanced and human-like that our thoughts turn to whether or not they are as hot in "real life" as they sound.
Already popular culture is full of examples of relationships with AI, including Raj's courtship of Siri in The Big Bang Theory and the 2013 Spike Jonze film Her.
Thew survey also found that a third of respondents were excited by the idea of assistants being able to preempt and predict their "masters" needs, like some weird electronic dominatrix.
We're a long way from all that of course. At the moment, Alexa can't tell the difference between two voices in the same household and treats each instance of itself in isolation, which is a far cry from the omnipotent assistant of an intelligent home.
"To successfully integrate voice into their offerings, brands need to understand how the technology can simplify everyday tasks by adding value and removing friction from their experience. This is not about tech for tech's sake," said Elizabeth Cherian, UK director at JWT's Innovation Group.
"Thoughtful and helpful interactions which genuinely enhance the experience will drive engagement and deeper relationships between consumers and brands."
Equally, owners need to understand the need to get out from their Mum's basement and meet real girls. Jus' sayin. Kevin. µ
Smartphone launches across the UK, O2 and Vodafone tariffs available
Strange keyboard-toting smartphone impresses, but likely has limited appeal
Let a thousand flowers bloom, etc
We'll leave you to make the obvious joke...