JUST BECAUSE '‘Yahoo' was always a silly name, doesn't mean it can't be bettered. Or worsted. Or just generally flipped about with.
After it became clear that Yahoo's long sought new home was going to be with US telco Verizon, the marketing banshees began to circle, as a new parent company for it, Yahoo and AOL, was masterminded.
And the name?
Yes, they've gone for a word so stupid it sounds like someone saying "oats" whilst simultaneously doing a Daffy Duck impression after being punched in the tongue with a rubber mallet and garotted with a phone cable (see fig 1).
Say it a few times and it sounds like a Jack Russell that has a bark that's hoarse from overuse… "OATH! OATH! OATH!"
Not fans of rebrands at the best of times, it's good to know that this appears to be an umbrella company, like Google's Alphabet (note that months later, it still has to be called "Google's Alphabet" for context, one of the reasons why rebrands are so frickin' stupid).
So while Yahoo's lucrative holding company becomes Altaba - a term which itself conjures up an image of an alt-right Ali Baba, its loss-making brand will become a part of Oath. Oath! Oath! Grrrrr… (tugs on chew toy).
The deal isn't done yet, but it is expected to be finalised before the end of June after which we'll get a better idea of what brands are surviving and how they will merge to form something cohesive. And hopefully less likely to leak data all over the dark web.
We've already had a good moan about branding this year with Mozilla's decision to hire a big fancy pants branding agency to rebrand them stylised as Moz://a which we needed like we needed like a hole in a Galaxy Note 7.
But at least with M02\ ! /@ they kept the name. Our issue was never with that, it was the needless corporate expense on the typeface from a not-for-profit company where our quarrel lay.*
But this is something different. Verizon is trying to make a new name with a new mythology attached. ‘Oath' is mean to sound like a promise to customers. Ironically after buying a company that really never got the hang of protecting its email customers with Oauth.
An ancient synonym for "oath" is "plight". Somehow that seems more accurate. µ
*after we ran the Mozilla piece, the branding company had a proper freak out at us on social media in one of the best examples of why interns shouldn't run a company's social media feeds we've seen in ages.
Can a Huawei hold a candle to a Surface?
The Matebook X Pro and Mediapad M5 kick off MWC 2018
Expect no surprises at Samsung's MWC launch event today
Changes ownership of crucial Linux system folders without users' permission