CURSE THEIR METAL FACES, robots are literally throwing themselves in the direction of UK jobs and are likely to displace 10 million actual blood sack people out of their positions.
Holy crap, 10 million. That's as many people as live in Seoul, Korea, and it is a lot of robots. Perhaps we had better start inventing roles for them, like, er, seagull distractors - whereby they might hold chips away from where people are eating chips, or queue holders - a stand-in for you when you need to go to the post office.
That is all future stuff, we were at envelope-pushing levels there. Let's get back to the problem at hand, which is a report from esteemed report producers PWC that says that 30 per cent of the UK workforce will literally be displaced by robots by 2030.
The report is called "Consumer spending prospects and the impact of automation on jobs" (PDF), and it is interesting reading. There is a lot of stuff in it that is not about robots, but we skipped through that. It suggests that we face more robots than other reports have suggested.
Key things include the fact that Britain will employ more robots than Japan, which we think is bullshit.
"Our analysis suggests that around 30 percent of UK jobs could potentially be at high risk of automation by the early 2030s, lower than the US (38 per cent) or Germany (35 per cent), but higher than Japan (21 per cent)," said PWC.
"The risks appear highest in sectors such as transportation and storage (56 per cent), manufacturing (46 per cent) and wholesale and retail (44 per cent), but lower in sectors like health and social work (17 per cent)"
Those figures make some sense. After all, who wants a robot social worker, but we sense that there is some hedge betting going on here, as PWC then goes on to say that this could not happen at all because of a range of factors.
"However, in practice, not all of these jobs may actually be automated for a variety of economic, legal and regulatory reasons. Furthermore new automation technologies will>both create some totally new jobs in the digital technology area and, through productivity gains, generate additional wealth and spending that will support additional jobs of existing kinds, primarily in services sectors that are less easy to automate," it added.
"The net long term impact of automation on total UK employment is therefore unclear."
Oh. As we were then. µ
And, er, not much else
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