THIS IS the day we've always feared, people. We've made you drill for it and you laughed at us, but now, it's here. Man the Anderson Shelters. Clippy is back.
Yes, Microsoft's paperclip helper, responsible for the decline of monitors in the late nineties due to its sheer punchability, has returned to put the "is an ass" into "assistant".
This time, it's a third party extension for Google Chrome, known as 'Clippy Everywhere!' programmed by people who don't like us, which simply exists to pop up every time you change web page and ask you if need any help.
It doesn't do anything. It has no help to give. In fact, the only thing it serves to do is annoy. You can click on it and it does its little animations, authentically recreated from the depths of hell, but that's about it.
For those who don't remember, Clippy ('Clippit', officially) was a primitive help tool from Office 97-2003 created by Kevan J Atteberry, disliked by everyone, even internally at Microsoft (yet lasting six years!) for its tendency to arbitrarily turn up offering to help you do things that it was blatantly obvious how to do.
Some say that Windows Vista was so awful purely as a diversionary tactic so we'd forget how awful Clippy was.
OK, we made that bit up. There were rumours of a planned return, but Office 2016 had the help without the childish paper-clip.
Clippy Everywhere! quietly appeared this week courtesy of someone called yoman821, and the only information we have about it is: "TThis extension brings your favorite assistant everywhere. This app brings a helpful Clippy tool to all your chrome pages! Many thanks to clippy.js"
Whether the plan is to add some functionality, of if this is purely a bit of nostalgic hate fun we don't know. Besides which, we had to uninstall it very quickly because it was interfering with some other extensions we have going on, and we were running out of unsmashed monitors.
Still. Here it is. It's your funeral. µ
Firm says it needs 'more time before it's ready for customers'
Yes, its the triumphant return of our Alphabet clearing house
Move comes amid rumours it will provide modems for next year's iPhones
Mind game or mind f***?