RODENTS! But enough about the canteen. PAY ATTENTION. THIS IS YOUR COLONEL! I have an important missive about an enemy among us.
As you know, we take our mission to look after the Linux kernel very seriously in this platoon and I am sad to inform you that one of our top kernel agents has been given a burn notice.
I SAID BURN, SOLDIER! LIKE THAT TIME YOU FLICKED YOUR TAIL TOO CLOSE TO THE OPEN FIREPLACE!
From now on, kernel version 3.14 is to be regarded as end-of-life and removed from operations.
Intelligence has reached us from major corporal Greg Kroah-Hartman that version 3.14.79, which constitutes a list of 12 fixes, marks the end of this chapter.
SHUT UP, PRIVATE! I KNOW 3.14 IS PI AND SOMETIMES THAT MEANS PIGEON PIE!
Linux 3.14 is now to be seen as the enemy and should be shot on sight. Major corporal Kroah-Hartman recommends that any instances should be replaced with Linux 4.4 for Long Term Support (LTS) or 4.7.3 for the most recent edition.
FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION!
45 insertions and 127 deletions have been made in version 3.14.79, which fixes a bug in the EXT4 file system and an error in Reliable Datagram Sockets and updates some other minor bits.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER, SOLDIERS. IT IS DEAD TO YOU! YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!
I have received my orders and have carried them out. The message reads: "NOTE - the 3.14.y kernel series is now end-of-life. It will not be receiving any more updates and should no longer be used at all.
"Please use 4.4 if you want an LTS kernel that will last for another year or, even better yet, just use the normal stable releases as those will always contain the latest fixes and updates."
I don't understand why a man would update a kernel and then give it a burn notice, but in this army we do not question.
YOU HEAR ME, SOLDIERS? WE DO NOT QUESTION! WE PROTECT THE KERNEL!
NOW UNMAT THE FUR ROUND YOUR ARSES OR I WILL TAKE TO THEM WITH SCISSORS TO GET THE DRIED POO OUT! µ
The INQUIRER has quietly suggested some anger management classes to Colonel Kitten. We'll let you know how he reacts. If he doesn't shoot us.
Everything is going to be the same, just a bit different
Firm missed out on being 'first' by just a few hours
Firm promises that charging is about to hit 'warp speed'
No fax given