Sorry. Was just seeing off the neighbour's cat who was looking at me funny. Now my hair is all over the place. It's a disgrace. If anyone has any Brylcreem please let me know discretely before parade time.
AHEM. RIGHT YOU FILTHY FURRY MAGGOTS. COLONEL KITTEN THE KERNEL KITTEN HERE. DEFENDER OF THE FAITH, KEEPER OF THE FIGHT FOR TRUTH, JUSTICE AND THE OPEN SOURCE WAY, AND FAN OF RUNNING ABOUT INSANELY FOR HALF AN HOUR BEFORE FALLING ASLEEP.
We've received intelligence from Major Torvalds that Operation Linux 4.6 is now go-go-go and I want nothing but 100 per cent commitment from you, privates.
Here is the official directive: "Since RC7, there's been small noise all over, with driver fixes being the bulk of it, but there is minor noise all over (perf tooling, networking, filesystems, documentation, some small arch fixes).
"The appended shortlog will give you a feel for what's been going on during the last week. The 4.6 kernel on the whole was a fairly big release - more commits than we've had in a while. But it all felt fairly calm despite that."
WHY DID NO-ONE WAKE ME FOR RC7? YES, I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE GOUGED A HOLE IN YOUR FUR BECAUSE I WAS SURPRISED AND WAS OFF MY GUARD IN A NICE SUNTRAP BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. I'M IN CHARGE!!!
Primary notes on operations to take note of include support for USB 3.1 SuperSpeedPlus 10Gbps support. This is the proper version of the traffic carried by USB-C.
BEWARE OF IMPOSTERS. USB-C ALSO CARRIES USB 3.1 gen1 WHICH CARRIES ONLY 5GBPS AND SHOULD BE SHOT ON SIGHT.
Other new additions include improvements to the out of memory task killer, support for the forthcoming Intel Memory protection key feature, and a brand new file system called OrangeFS.
BEWARE THE ORANGE MEN. IT IS THE CAT'S NATURAL ENEMY. IT CAN CAUSE VOMITING, DIARRHOEA, DEPRESSION AND POTENTIAL PHOTO-SENSITIVITY, AND THERE IS NO ROOM FOR IT IN THIS CAT'S ARMY. LANCE IT WITH A BAYONET.
Also included is the Kernel Connection Multiplexor which provides message-based interfacing over TCP and accelerates layer protocols.
WAKE UP, MEN! THIS IS IMPORTANT AND NOT BORING.
Finally in this briefing, we've been warned of a new fifth vigilante in our midst that thinks it can do a better job of keeping the world safe than this army. It is known as 'Better Approach To Mobile Ad hoc Networking', or BATMAN.
TAKE THIS BATMAN DOWN, SOLDIERS. EAT ITS WING.
All other information can be found in the dossiers provided by Major Torvalds. Now, I'm off to scratch at the legs of some antique Chesterfield furniture for an hour then look adorable when I'm caught.
RIGHT. THOSE OF YOU WHO THINK STANDING TO ATTENTION MEANS SITTING IN A TREE. FALL OUT! µ
Follow Colonel Kitten on Twitter at @kernelkitten but don't be surprised if he tries to swipe at the bird logo.
Oh and it'll also help give aural pleasure
But it might still not be enough to make virtual reality super appealing
And a ridiculous competition
Now you can talk to your silly-looking earbuds too