PRIME MINISTER and children's television stalwart David 'Iggle Piggle' Cameron has asked his friend from a magic far-away land to help him defeat the nasty people by banning some favourite toys from The Night Garden.
Cameron told reporters at the recent unity rally in Paris that apps using end-to-end encryption would be banned by a future Tory government under the so-called Snoopers' Charter.
He has now made an appeal to US president Obama to join him in his crusade to make sure everyone can see your selfies, dinklegrams and notes saying you'll be late for dinner, because, you know, safety.
"Are we going to allow a means of communication which it simply isn’t possible to read?" Mr Piggle asked the Commons. "No. We must not."
Cameron will lay out his stall as part of two days of talks in Washington, which will see cybercrime, avoiding giving terrorists a 'safe place' on the web, and jointly lobbying social networks to give up data to intelligence services at the top of the agenda.
At the heart of the objections is the way in which encrypted networks are set up to ensure that the owners themselves cannot decrypt message content.
Cameron argues that this practice stops GCHQ doing its job of monitoring terrorist activity.
This is despite the fact that Edward Snowden's leaks have repeatedly shown that intelligence services misuse the data to do everything from open cold cases, to pass round nudey-lady pictures.
Android 5.0 and iOS 8 now offer out-of-the-box encryption, and this too is likely to be a topic of discussion.
Apple and Google made the decision to scramble data acting on customer demands for privacy, but government lobbies have criticised the move as detrimental to the fight against extremist and illegal activity on the web. µ
Sadly that doesn't include offering you a beer
It's like the Hokey Cokey only for the stock market
FruityArmor and SandCat have already made use of the privilege escalation bug
A small village in Siberia will eat well tonight