ACCORDING TO SOFTWARE COMPANY WATCHDOG the Business Software Alliance, about half of the people on the planet have stolen from its members.
If you take a look around the office, this means that the man sitting next to you is aiding terrorism, taking jobs away from people and probably clubbing baby fur seals on the weekends.
Fresh from sailing its righteous high seas, the BSA is bandying about accusations of 'piracy', claiming that around a third of people in the UK illegally download software "most or all of the time".
People in developing natinos are particularly unlikely to buy software through the usual channels, according to the BSA, along with the man that just wandered out of a nearby class for students of the bleedin' obvious.
China harbours a host of 'pirates', as do Nigeria, Vietnam, Ukraine, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Saudi Arabia, South Korea and Mexico. All of which revelations are the opposite of jaw-dropping.
In these countries the BSA found that many users believed that they had bought legitimate products, which says something about the allegedly buggy features we are told can be found in downloaded copies and the performance of the more expensive official ones.
"It took hundreds of millions of thieves to steal $59 billion worth of software last year. Now we have a better understanding of what they were thinking," said BSA president and CEO Robert Holleyman from behind, we like to imagine, a rather large drum.
"The evidence is clear: The way to lower software piracy is by educating businesses and individuals about what is legal - and ramping up enforcement of intellectual property laws to send clearer deterent [sic] signals to the marketplace."
Yeah, maybe it is. It's also not a bad money spinner, on top of what is already a pretty good racket. Just think of what companies such as Microsoft could do with an extra $59bn in their bank accounts. µ
Someone could be in for a NASty surpise
An assault course on the senses
Boasting Bionic boosting