SHINY TOY VENDOR Apple has rolled out its censorship rules by publishing its Apps Store review guidelines for developers.
After protecting the macolytes from Flash based porn and telling Lady Gaga to cover up her Poker face on Ping, Apple is adding Apps developers to its equation. That's control freakery even more annoying than this man's from a mid-90s Volvo ad, which is very, very annoying indeed.
As the final word in moral arbitration, Apple is getting cagey about letting developers have access to its chaste App Store. The company has published the reviews guidelines list so its flock doesn't stray onto the path of temptation.
It said, "The app approval process is in place to ensure that applications are reliable, perform as expected, and are free of explicit and offensive material. "
"These guidelines are designed to help you prepare your iOS and Mac OS X apps for the approval process," said the blurb.
The list sits behind a developers login but Tuaw has published a list of some of the more inane entries.
- Your game portrays realistic images of people or animals being killed or maimed, shot, stabbed, tortured or injured.
So that's 99 per cent of gaming then. A photo-realistic rendition of Angry Birds has already been rejected.
- "Enemies" within the context of your game solely target a specific race, culture, a real government or corporation, or any other real entity.
That's goodbye to any war-based shooters unless it's based on aliens.
- Contains user generated content that is frequently pornographic
Putting the onus of responsibility of UCG on developers, like asking ISPs to police the Internet. It also gives Apple a get out clause should any shady sexual shenanigans take place over the Apple airwaves.
- It has misspelled Apple product names in its name (i.e., GPS for Imac, iTunz)
There's no chance then of The INQUIRER's guide to proper English spelling getting in for use on any of Apple's Ithings. µ
Oh and it'll also help give aural pleasure
But it might still not be enough to make virtual reality super appealing
And a ridiculous competition
Now you can talk to your silly-looking earbuds too