AS FANBOIS PART WITH large wads of cash to buy the latest Iphone 4, a quarter of them will find their shiny toys have failed before the end of their phone contract.
The main concern for fanbois with Iphones isn't being mugged but rather "accidents and normal use failures". A report by Squaretrade claims that loss and theft are "a minor problem", probably because Iphone users simply reach into their bottomless cash reserves set aside for the church of Jobs and buy another one.
Figures show that over 18 per cent of Iphone users accidentally kill their beloved device, presumably after being blinded by its shiny facade. Another 7.5 per cent have their faith in Steve Jobs tested by failures due to Apple's shoddy hardware design and workmanship.
While users can't always be blamed for wanting to break a phone that poses the same sort of restrictions as a police state does on civil liberties, the hardware failure rate affecting Iphones is particularly embarrassing for Apple.
Apple's Dear Leader likes to make a point of how well the employees of Foxconn, who are paid disgracefully low wages, produce high quality products that bear the fruit-themed toymaker's logo. But it isn't the workers who are forced to work insane hours that are entirely to blame, but rather Apple's own on-site quality control practices that are failing.
Jobs is facing litigation because of claims that the phone's liquid contact identifiers are unreliable, whereas internal liquid contamination needs to be proved in order to void a warranty. With Anne Robinson also on the case, it surely won't be long before Jobs is told that he is the weakest link and needs to clean up Apple's act.
The Squaretrade report shows that between the Iphone 3G and the Iphone 3GS, reported problems with the device's touchscreen decreased, which is not surprising given that production has matured. However power related problems are on the increase, including battery issues. Jobs' made the forward thinking decision that battery replacement is far beyond the technical abilities of his flock, instead sticking to the simpler option of making them fork over more cash for another Iphone when the battery inevitably expires.
So as British punters get ready to shake off the budget blues and spend a good percentage of the national debt on Jobs' new toy, it's important to remember that whenever a new Apple product hits the shelves, it takes several revisions before reliability comes up to scratch.
However, according to these figures, even then Jobs' Mob can't really get things right. µ
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