WE'RE JUST ABOUT READY to see the back of 2016, to be honest. Real life has been more like a video game than any video game. An insane megalomaniac took over the world, an island paradise was irredeemably shattered and all our heroes have deserted us.
There is no hope. No hope.
Anyway, on a positive note - lots of lovely, shiny games are going to turn up in 2017 on your games consoles. Lummee! Here they are in absolutely no particular order of greatness and excitement.
1. Resident Evil 7 (PS4/XB1)
Most people are bored of long-running videogame series. The mighty behemoth Call of Duty is finally starting to stumble as kids in their early twenties would prefer to play DOTA 2 or League of Legends in real-life sports stadiums, and massively multiplayer versions of Nokia's original Snake game are now just as likely to pull people to Twitch feeds as anything published by Activision or EA.
What hope, then, for Resident Evil 7? With the sixth game being best remembered for sporting a logo that resembled a man fellating a giraffe, it's fair to say Resident Evil 6 (or Resident Evil 4 III, as we like to call it) didn't set the world on fire.
Welcome, then, Resident 7, whose producer has been quoted as having "loved" the PS4's breakout, self-poo-inducing haunted house demo P.T. Just as with that (now-cancelled) Silent Hill demo, Resident Evil is being pushed into first person, hindering the player perspective to create a far more contained experience. It worked brilliantly in 2014's gut-churning Alien: Isolation, after all.
Coupled with an icky, uncomfortable Texas Chainsaw Massacre-style ‘redneck family' motif, Resident Evil 7 looks set to be the most immediate entry in the series for many years.
Or it could be... you know... they just sold out
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