Iphone app protects men from PMS

YOU MAY THINK some of your Iphone apps are truly indispensable, but what if you discovered an app which could actually save you from grievous bodily harm? One app, PMS Buddy, strives to do just that, helping men the world over track the menstrual cycles of the cranky, hysterical women in their lives.

The app, which will seep out to an Iphone near you sometime next week, already claims over 150,000 registered users and another 20,000 signed up on Facebook, with the tagline "Saving relationships, one month at a time."

You may well be thinking that such an insensitive, moronic, selfish, arse saving app could only have been created by bone headed men, (sorry, got a bit carried away there), but in actual fact, PMS Buddy is apparently one of the least misogynist PMS tracking apps out there.

Rival PMSTracker, for instance, asks "Tired of your wife/girlfriend/sister/mom/secretary biting your head off unexpectedly once a month?" Well, we wouldn't bite your frickin' heads off if you didn't bloody deserve it you stupid GITS!! Ehem, sorry again.

Even worse, an app called uPMS claims to come to the aid of guys "suffering the monthly Psychotic Mood Shifts from their better halves." Well, at least you got the "better halves" part right, you Neanderthals! [Ed- Code red, code red] Ok, deep breaths, calming thoughts.

For guys who aspire to one day rise above the numb nutedness of their gender, there's always the MyMate app. MyMate not only reminds pea brained, forgetful men of their woman's favourite gifts, songs, perfumes and other essential data like anniversaries and birthdays, it also stores her measurements and converts them between US or European clothing sizes. How thoughtful. Obviously an app for women by women.

Now go away and leave me alone! µ