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White House dashes Death Star petition hopes

Too expensive, plus other reasons
Mon Jan 14 2013, 12:20
Garden view of the front of the White House

THE UNITED STATES White House has vetoed the petition asking it to build a Star Wars style Death Star out in space.

The petition had attracted a decent amount of support, 34,435 signatures since it was launched last November.

It had a simple request, "Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016".

"Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016," it said.

"By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense."

However, the White House has stamped on the petition as though it was the Death Star and public opinion was Alderaan.

"This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For," said the official White House response signed by Paul Shawcross, chief of the science and space branch of the White House office of management and budget.

"The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon," it added.

"The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it."

The response added that the administration "does not support blowing up planets", and that it would not want to invest so much money into a "Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship".

The White House response is littered with knowing Star Wars references. It suggests that people enjoy more realistic outer space treats like the International Space Station and the robot assistants that inhabit it.

"Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe," Shawcross added.

"We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers." µ


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