TECHNOLOGY MONOPOLIST Microsoft has started its latest campaign to move people to Windows Phone.
The firm has already run a "smoked by Windows Phone" promotional campaign and now it's back with what we think is called "annoyed by Windows Phone".
The adverts are a series of mini movies involving people, conversations about mobile phones and perfectly natural exchanges. Our favourite shows Microsoft barge into a couple's dinner and start blathering about Nokia's Lumia handsets.
Picture the scene - you are having dinner with a lovely lady or a handsome chap, and suddenly out of nowhere comes a man who wants to know what phone you have. Your first thought might be, "this is a mugger, I'm not telling him where my phone is". Your second thought should be, "ignore him and maybe he'll go away, now... starter or dessert?"
For the purposes of this marketing expedition Microsoft and Ben the PC guy have managed to find one couple who are sitting on the far outskirts of a completely empty restaurant and actually want to talk about phones.
Both are Iphone users, both are freshly introduced to the Nokia Lumia 920 and they are told that it's "the best camera phone ever built. Period."
They are accommodating, maybe it's a date, imagine what a story it will make for the grandkids, and they let Ben take two photos of them, one with one of their Iphones, the other with the Lumia.
It writes itself, but if you haven't worked it out yet, the photo taken by the Lumia phone is much better.
The screen is "better than HD", we are told, and is bigger. Sarah and Yasir, who by the looks of things are having a dinner of water and one slice of bread, are impressed by the Windows Phone handset and its photo results.
"It's pretty," we hear, "It's pretty cool," and "Awesome." Sarah is given the Windows Phone for free and announces that she's leaving her Iphone behind.
Meanwhile, Yasir, who presumably hasn't clocked onto how fickle and impetuous Sarah is yet, smiles and waggles an eyebrow.
Other ads in the series have the same flavour. Ben, wearing a coat, or not wearing a coat, approaches members of the public, presents them with a rival phone based challenge and wins it.
Different phones are invoked for different challenges, but Ben always seems to have the right one at hand. For example, one member of the public says that she likes her Iphone because of "apps" and is challenged with the HTC Windows Phone 8X.
She is asked to post "free shopping" on her Facebook wall, and we leave her there. µ