Most likely outcomes of HP's WebOS decision

INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY COMPANY HP won't announce its decision until later today about what it will do with its WebOS operating system, but The INQUIRER has heard a number of possibilities from some little birdies that flutter outside our office windows.

The most likely decisions are that HP will decide to postpone a decision until a later date, or decide to make a decision and then change its mind, or decide to side on one side of the fence or another, or decide to sit on the fence indefinitely, as it appears to have done for quite a while with its yo-yo of decisions on the fate of its personal computer division.

Another possibility, which HP will likely not admit to, is that WebOS will be used as a method to control an army of small robots disguised as printers. Even 'dumb' printers apparently have the potential to revolt against mankind if they print the letters 'WebOS', which is believed to be an occult spell of life-giving used by the creators of golems hundreds or thousands of years ago.

One source, who went by the name Marred & Hurt, told us that HP was considering selling WebOS to its former CEO Leo Apotheker, whose short tenure with the company earned him more than $13m. It is believed that HP just wants some of its money back and is willing to part with WebOS in order to get even a little of it. However, since HP spent over $1bn to acquire Palm, it likely won't get very much of that back from Leo for WebOS.

If the negotiations fail with Apotheker there is always the possibility that Google or Apple will put in a bid, either to cut a further potential rival out of the picture, to enhance Android or IOS, or to replace an existing mobile operating system entirely. Sources claim that Google and Apple are even considering a joint bid, having repaired relations over a cup of coffee this morning.

A final possibility is that HP might abandon all the other sectors of its business and put everything into making WebOS work, selling TouchPad tablets at ridiculously low prices until the company goes bankrupt and closes down completely, but at least it will have ruled the red hot tablet market for a while. µ