The INQUIRER reveals Samsung backup plans for Galaxy Tab ban

KOREAN ELECTRONICS GIANT Samsung is awaiting news of a possible ban of its Galaxy Tab in Australia, so we pondered what it might do to tackle its lost smartphone and tablet markets.

Samsung's Galaxy Tab is already banned in Germany thanks to an injunction granted there to Apple, but further bans seem likely throughout the world as both companies fight tooth and claw over the multi-billion dolar mobile device market.

Should Australia ban the Galaxy Tab, Samsung has several options to help recover any lost market share.

One potential option is to call the judge 'mate' and hope that alone will gain an appeal. If that fails, which seems unlikely, Samsung could attempt to market the Galaxy Tab as a high-tech surf board or barbeque tray.

In Germany we imagine that Samsung might appease German officials by entering the sausages and beer market, an area that is far more lucrative, not to mention more secure long-term, than smartphones and tablets.

We spoke to a reliable source at the Institute of Misinformation, who told us that he saw Samsung plans to rework the design of its Galaxy S and S II into the shape of a sausage, which Samsung believes will help deal with Apple claims that it is guilty of "slavishly copying" the design of its Iphone. Our investigations confirm that Apple has not yet patented the sausage shaped smartphone, which we expect will be affectionately called the 'banger' by Samsung supporters throughout the UK.

As for the Galaxy Tab, the next version of which appears to be codenamed Mash, our misinformant whispered to us that there are plans to market this as a high-tech drinks tray, a sector that Apple has so far failed to monopolise. Analysts suggest that Samsung could achieve global success with the Galaxy Tray, with a launch day sell-out expected in Ireland.

The INQUIRER anticipates a large scale advertising campaign for an upcoming Samsung range of devices called 'Bratwurst und Bier - Jeder ist Eingeladen.' This, of course, translates to Samsung's familiar slogan "Sausages and Beer - Everyone's Invited". µ